As I doled out perfectly uniform banana slices to each member of my party, I had but one thought: the Lilliputians are gonna shit! My trials, travels, and journals of methodology had all led up to this moment and like a proud father standing before his prized bird, carving knife in hand, I looked at my motley assemblage and impressed upon the Hutzler its final, true use. It was only when, having sieved the sands of Kiribati in a fruitless search for Captain Cook’s treasure, my second cousin, once revived, suggested we adjourn to the island settlement of Banana. I descaled fish and scraped ice from windshields in the Yakutia Region of Siberia for spare rubles and blood sausage. And so my travels continue.įor three months, the Hutzler and I joined a zydeco band, replacing a washboard player who had as fierce a taste for alligator as alligator did for him. I’ve seen it be many things in my time – a drying rack for swamp-soaked socks, a spaghetti serving-size separator for starved Italian troops, a ladder for my dear Lilliputian friends – but I have yet to behold each of the Hutzler’s 571 applications. In Brazil, at the Festa do Peao de Barretos, it was a substitute belt buckle, providing a fading champ one last ride in the sun. In the Australian outback, a measuring implement, as we surveyed the metes and bounds of the arid red landscape. On the Eastern face of K2 it was a carabiner, keeping our team in tandem for the final leg of our ascent. Per usual, we will start with the fake and move on to the fact. And with that said, here are the meme and real reviews of the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, based on actually purchasing and using said product. We know what makes them funny and what makes them fall flat. Now, as pocket jokers, we at Review Party Dot Com know what makes reviews good, bad, and ugly. That okay, okay, these reviews are a bit of hogwash, but that they’re fun, and we can all have fun with this, as long as we call a spade a spade. So, brace for some rib-tickling ride through the Q&A section.What we have here is some funnies, but also some self-awareness. Instead of highlighting the utter uselessness of the tool, customers came up with amusing questions that had even funnier answers. And, this can be evidently seen in the ‘Customer questions & answers’ section of the listing. While the seller claims that the tool is “the only banana slicer you will ever need,” people did not quite buy it. Safe, fun and easy to use for children to use,” the description read. “Simply press the slicer on a peeled banana and the work is done. The listing also mentions that using this banana slicer is the easiest and safest way to cut a banana. Listed on e-commerce website Amazon, the product has been described as “a quick solution to slice a banana uniformly each and every time.” But, the makers of the product named ‘Hutlzer 571 Banana Slicer’ claim that their tool will make the work even smoother. One may think that banana is the most convenient fruit to eat where you just have to peel its skin and take a bite. However, some tools are so useless that you will be compelled to question their existence. Gadgets and tools are meant to make our work easier by cutting down the efforts needed to perform a task.
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